Dear Twilighteers & The 4 Other People On The Planet,
I knew Robs’ name would get your fingers clicking. Any blog with the mention of this enigmatic Venus-ruled-Taurean-heartthrobs’ name is sure to generate cyber crowds in a matter of seconds! What is the relevance of Rob Pattinson to Moonglow Jewelry, you may wonder. Well, that’s for you to decide and comment on after you’ve read this moon-inspired blog!
I thought it would be interesting to see during which moon-phase Rob was born. Perhaps even more interesting would be exploring during which moon phase Kristen Stewart strayed. Sniff. Pass the tissues, please. But first, I think it’s necessary to officially introduce you to the moon.
Dear Moon, this is one of our Moonglow family members.
Dear Moonglow family member, meet the moon.
Ok, good. Now, we’re friends and can share our innermost secrets with one another. No? Ok, then how about some mind-blowing MOON trivia?
You see her in the sky most evenings, but – do you REALLY know her? I must tell you she has connections in high places and can turn tides with a flick of her wrist. She is quite the Olympian; able to circle the Earth in about 27 days,13 hours, 18 minutes, and 37.4 seconds. Way to go for the gold, Earth Mother! Her surface temperature can plunge 500 degrees in less than 90 minutes. Ouch! While Zonies (this is a term of endearment for those living in Arizona) may welcome such phenomena the rest of us are probably thanking our Sun for being so… consistent. With just a flick of HER wrist we’d melt, thus, Global warming. But, that’s an entirely different blog. I digress. The point is, the Moon, she is amazing – like our Jewelry!
That was a smooth transgression, don’t you think?
Now, back to Rob.
One second please………pouring myself a glass of wine…red wine…plastic goblet…I’m a bit clumsy. Ok.
What About Rob? Rob was born May 13, 1986. Let me just plug that into my Moon Phase Calculator and we’ll know in seconds during which phase he was born. You can’t hear it but the calculator is very noisy. It is the sound of my computer thinking. Hmm…the calculator tells me that Rob was born during a NEW MOON. Isn’t it Ironic, don’t you think? Rob was born during a NEW MOON? I’m suddenly craving popcorn and chocolate covered gummy bears. Why is that?
Do you know what a NEW MOON looks like? Nothing. That’s right. Nothing at all. When the moon is new we can’t see it. Its illuminated half faces away from earth. Good thing neither half of Rob faces away from earth or there’d be many sad: Twi-hards, Twerds, Fanpires – or, what I like to call – Twilighteers (like Mousekateers for those old enough to relate).
So, now that you know Robs’ moon you have a decision to make. What MOONGLOW moon phase pendant shall you wear? Will you choose the phase for your own birthday, or Robs’ birthday. Or, will you choose another significant moment in your life to hold close to your heart. But hey, don’t limit yourself – you can wear several at the same time!
Last, but not least, during which moon phase did Kristen Stewart stray from her beloved for that……dorky director guy?
Look, just a little back story here – my name is Iradora Moonglow. I’m just a little moon fairy, from the far side of the moon, who was hired to write for MOONGLOW. So, don’t go and get all mad at MOONGLOW for me voicing my opinions here on this blog – ok? My opinions are my opinions, and not necessarily those of MOONGLOW. But frankly, I think that without biased opinions most facts are beyond boring. Just ask FOX NEWS!
So, what was I saying? Oh, I remember. I was talking about that dorky director guy, and Kristen Stewart. Really, what was she thinking? Must have been astrological. That’s the only logical explanation for such an illogical choice. Anyway, the two connected on July 16th, 2012. The MOON PHASE CALCULATOR tells me that Kristen strayed during a…….hmm…. there it is again……NEW MOON. Well, just goes to show you, ANYTHING is possible during a NEW MOON.
In closing, I’d like to let the “Nutty Madam” know that I’ve sprinkled her with some of my “Valerian” dust to help calm her down.
I’d also like to let Rob & Kristen know that I’ve sprinkled them both with my “Love Restoration” dust, and that they’ll be back together in no time at all.
Hmm….I think that was the right bottle…..